Jealousy is a Bitch.

Ah so latle i have been feeling a little jealous may i say? i walk the halls at school and see somebody all over the person i love. but hey what can i do? there dating. my mistake right? So my plan is to avoid them together at all cost. So what if i have to walk an extra mile a day, i get to keep my smile right?

no more running

Yes! second blog today. When i get it all out i feel so great since somethings i just can't tell anyone. Latley, my feelings have been up and down. We text about the most awesome things and my feelings for her just grow, then we have to go to school and i see her with her boyfriend, and everytime it makes me think of how i just messed up. A part of me just wants to run and escape this feelings. But i promised i'm done running. I'm gonna stick threw this no matter how hard i fall. If i can just prove to myself to sit this out for seven years[[hopefully sooner]] then maybe maybe, i could make things perfect again.

story of my life.

So starting on about August 16th, 2007. My friend Sidney and I started talking. Before that we sat with each other everyday on the bus, and we just joked around. She practically became my best friend. Well on August 31, 2007 i asked her to be my girlfriend. It was amazing. the relationship we had even before that blew my mind away. She has a friend, her name is Annie. She wasn't the biggest help in this relationship. What i think it was was that she wanted her friend all to her self and didn't want to share her, but it was perfectly fine for her to go off and have her own boyfriend. Well that got the best of me and i had to end it. I pretty much hated it. About three weeks later i felt i had to tell Sidney the real reasons i had to break it with her. She completely understood and agreed, i think. So we started talking. Just talking, as friends that liked each other. We did that from the beginning of November to April when i re-asked her out on April 1st, 2007. This relationship went almost smoothly except for Annie again. Annie was the biggest drama person ever. she just didn't know when to keep her mouth shut. So i think we ended that relationship in June. Of course, i didn't want it to end and either did she, but we thought hey its summer and we won't have to deal with her, so we talked. This summer we got really really close. I asked her out again on August 8. thinking that hey Annie is finally gonna let this happen. Well, that didn't go over very well because Annie didn't get enough time with her and Sidney's parents liked it up the ass. So we had to end that. I was so lost. I didn't know what to do so i moved on to a girl named Sissy.That lasted a week, because i rushed into it without getting over my feelings for Sidney. Sidney was dating Jazz man at the time but felt the same way as i did. Her and Jazz man broke up and all i did was pushed her away cos i thought it was the right thing to do. But 5 months down the road now and Everytime i look at her my heart stops, everytime i talk to her i feel like im falling in love with her all over again and i don't know what to do. Since her and Jazz man is back together, and i could give a fuck about what Annie wants. I just feel lost and confused. Shes with him and happy, but i know she has feelings for me. But i just don't know what to do. I'll keep you updated on anything.